Signs

 

Just over a month ago (before I knew I was pregnant) I was at a horse festival in Illinois. As I was leaving the grounds for the evening, I looked down and in the middle of the sawdust and mud I saw a little pink bow. One that you'd put in a baby's hair. I thought hmmm... I wonder if this is a sign that I'm pregnant? I popped it in my bag and pretty much forgot about it. 

About a week after I found out I was pregnant I was at the farmers' market with one of my best friends, Taryn. I found a little pink sock on the ground, picked it up and placed it on the nearest table. Taryn grabbed my hand and said, "I think I know what that means!" My mind flashed back to the little pink bow.

A couple of nights ago, I was playing around with a baby name generator on-line. You enter your last name and it spits out a first and middle name. I thought it would be fun (it's probably stealing my identity as I type). The very first girl name it generated was "Ashly Taryn Zitske."

And today I popped into a co-workers office for a mid-afternoon pick-me-up disguised as a handful of M&Ms. I looked at the dozen or so in my hand and found one pink M&M sticking out among the normal oranges, reds, greens and browns. I looked at my co-worker and said, "I got a pink one." She said, "That's weird because I only ever put in the regular bags."

Now if I were a superstitious woman I might think all these signs add up to something. But for now I'll just assume the world is trying to tell me that I have a healthy peanut growing inside of me and I should be happy with that!

Conundrum

The cheesiest!

Kraft macaroni and cheese. That's what I craved this weekend. Along with Lucky Charms, shortbread cookies, ice cream sandwiches and Drumsticks. And tonight for dinner, we had hot dogs. Yep, a good old fashioned ball bark hot dog in a white bun with loads of mustard (at least I made a salad on the side... to go along with the kettle potato chips).

Three weeks ago I was eating a fairly local, organic and fresh diet filled with seasonal veggies and hormone-free meat. Now I'm pumping my body full of preservatives and chemicals. A conundrum. One that I realize I will have to approach with a grain of salt and a map that clearly shows the "middle of the road." 

FACT: I don't want to gain 75 pounds with this pregnancy. 
FACT: I KNOW that organic fruits and vegetables make for a healthier baby. It's been proven time and time again. Chemicals = bad news in a developing peanut.  
FACT: My tummy hurts and sugar and carbs ease the pain. 
FACT: At this point I should eat whatever I can stomach, which is better than no food at all. 
FACT: I'm WAY too tired to prepare healthy meals after work.  
FACT: I have tools at my disposal (including an awesome husband, weekends off, a fully functional kitchen and lots of tupperware) that can help in meal preparation. 
FACT: There has to be a plan in here somewhere...

The bottom line is that I'm blessed to have all of this food at my fingertips and I'm lucky to be educated enough to make the write choices. As with everything I'll just take this one day at a time!

Grandpas

 

This babe is super lucky to have to amazing men as grandfathers. Sadly, only one will have an earthly presence it its life. Eric's dad, Steve (Cardinals hat, above), passed away some years ago and although I never had the pleasure, I know in my heart he must have been quite something because he is partly responsible for the intelligent, funny, caring man I married (who in turn, will be partly responsible for how this little bean turns out!). Wherever Grandpa Steve is, he is surely strutting around like a the proudest rooster in the coop. You see at this very moment he has FOUR grandbabies in the hopper! Eric's little sister is four months pregnant with her second, his brother Brad's wife Laura is due any day now with twins and this little one makes four (five in all). Luckily, all of Steve's children have loads of stories to share about him. He will definitely hold a fabled place in all of his grandchildren's lives. 

The other grandfather is one of the coolest, sweetest, awesomest rockers I know. And I don't mean in the Ozzy Osbourne sense. We've been in our home for nine years and we finally made a purchase that we should have made long ago... we finally bought a rocking chair - for Grandpa Jim. As I sit in the chair I imagine my dad in it, with a Scotch after Christmas dinner, with coffee on the morning of our Memorial Day festivities, and with a baby, his first grandchild, any day of the year.

What a lucky babe this will be!

Macadamia Nut

Well, this little bugger, about the size of a macadamia nut is what's been causing me so much trouble. The yolk sac is producing blood cells for the little one until there is a spleen and liver to do the job for it. (I'm trying really hard to be gender neutral with my pronouns!)

The most amazing thing was seeing the heart beat. It's just so hard to believe that this tiny lump of cells living in my body has its very own heart beat.  Seeing the flicker across the screen was so wild.

The nausea is becoming part of my everyday life. I have a countdown running to the beginning of my second trimester. At least now I'm sure I can do it. Last week, I wasn't so sure!

Oh, the other news is an official due date: May 11, 2012. Tia Amanda notes that May has a "peaceful, awakening energy." I couldn't agree more!

Time off

 

Someone at work commented today, "Poor Pixie, she's going to feel neglected for a while, huh?"

First, people have told me that when you're pregnant others will say whatever they want to you, no matter how rude or thoughtless. This is true.

Second, Miss Pixie is living the horsie dream - lots of petting, brushing, treats and no work. Although, it's a bit hard to get out to the barn when I feel like horse sh&% (pun intended), when I do get out there it's fun just to be near her. Today we even walked down to the end of the driveway - this is the most exercise I've had in one week. Hopefully when I get some energy back I'll be able to work her from the ground. I won't be riding again until my uterus is mine, all mine.

And I think that's just fine with her!

"Babies"

I'm not feeling so hot this morning. I'm running late for work (luckily everyone is very understanding) and I can't get anything down. I googled "Babies" to see if I could find something happy to make me smile and look forward to the future. This is what I found. And it did the trick!

At least I'm sleeping!

The past few nights have been very restful. If I have a late enough snack, the nausea doesn't keep me up. And since I'm exhausted from the day I tend to sleep like a baby.

Besides all the energy I'm expending creating a human life-form, it's very tiring trying to figure out what I'm going to eat and when throughout the day. If I go a minute too long without a snack, things fall apart.

I'm really looking forward to Friday, have I mentioned that? :)

Good night!

... and on my face.

Every woman should read this article as she is trying to get pregnant. Just so it's not a complete shock when she looks in the mirror and sees a pimply, hairy, blotchy version of her old self. Sure, I've lost five pounds (because I eat five licks of Mc Donalds ice cream for breakfast) and my chest has never looked better (even though I can barely stand to have anything touch it) but let me tell you, so far I'm missing the famous "glow" I've heard about for years. But you know what? I don't really care. I think I have a pretty good excuse... "Oh, I have a hair growing out of my chin? I'M GROWING A HUMAN BEING INSIDE OF MY BODY." I think it's a pretty healthy view to take.

So I'm sick, hairy and zitty. But I'm pregnant and very happy about it. We have an ultrasound on Friday to determine just how pregnant I am. I'm thinking somewhere between 7 and 8 weeks and hoping for anything that gets me closer 13, the start of the blessed second trimester!

Yes, they do sell ice cream cones at 9:30 in the morning.

Mc Donald's that is. It just sounded good... for about five minutes. I got a few licks down. Nausea is the worst.

Ickies and bike shorts

Right now my tummy is filled with ickies. I know this is a good thing, it means my body is doing what it's supposed to be doing, pumping out that HGC (pregnancy hormone), which for eons has made women turn in disgust at a pepperoni pizza, or chicken sandwich, or garden salad, or anything that's not white and starchy really. And I know that HGC is critical for producing a healthy little human being. I know all of this, but it still really, really sucks.

So I sit here, with baggy pants, acupressure wrist bands on both hands, B6 in my belly drinking peppermint tea... trying really hard to count my belly blessings.

I also bought my first pair of maternity pants at a second hand store today. They are ugly. They are too short and they're a faded black but they sure are loose on the tummy! My getup today clued me into the fact that I need to expand my wardrobe (and I mean that in every sense of the word). I had to present at a meeting today, so I had to look nice. Since all of my dress pants are too tight, I figured a skirt would work nicely. And it did until I realized it was 40 degrees outside. Tights did NOT appeal to me. A tight band? Around this waist? No thank you. I dug through my tights drawer and came up with a pair of nylon thigh highs from about 15 years and 20 thigh pounds ago. An odd choice perhaps, but no waist so I gave 'em a shot. They felt good, but left me feeling a little airy under my skirt, so I added cotton bike shorts, to pull everything together, which then required a slip so my skirt wouldn't stick to the shorts. And then I left the house like that. Seriously. Professional, pregnant me.