Testing, testing, one, two, three....

I've been exhausted. There has been no second trimester pick-me-up for this pregnant mama. And after a long, wonderful, three-day weekend of family and friends, I needed a good night's rest. But really, that's been the problem, for the first time in my life I haven't been sleeping very well. I toss and turn and toss, flipping from one side to the other, searching blindly for a pillow to shove between my knees so my hips don't ache. Not to mention the 3-4 times I get up to use the loo each night. It's a dream.

Last night was truckin' along as usual until about 4:00 AM. Eric got up, used the bathroom and came back to bed, but he shut the door. I said, "Why did you shut the door?" "Because one of the smoke detectors is beeping and I'm hoping I won't hear it with the door shut." Oh, ok. Two minutes go by... Beep! Ugh. Covers fly off, his glasses go on and he storms out of the room. But where is it? (Modern Family anyone?) Beep! It's not upstairs, it's probably down stairs. But when he starts playing with the downstairs one, the upstairs one starts beeping. So for about the next hour he was wrangling the two smoke detectors downstairs and the one upstairs, up and down the stairs, batteries in, batteries out. Every 10 minutes or so, he thought he had fixed it and would come to bed. Then... Beep! Up again!

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked. "No, sorry it's keeping you up," he replied. It's ok, I thought, I knew this was a test. This is what our life will be like in a mere five months. Listening to Eric stomp around the house, talking to the maddening white circles was amusing. Over the course of an hour it went from "God darn it!" (the most foul mouth he gets) to "Please be quiet!" to "Shut up!" I could easily replace the beeping inanimate item with a colicky red-faced baby. That is until he dismantled all of the smoke detectors and put them on the porch, "I'm done dickin' around," he said as he climbed back into bed just after 5:00 AM.

Good thing it's only a test.

Oh baby!

We had an ultrasound today that tested for some genetic abnormalities. At first glance, everything looks great! (there are blood test results that will come shortly - but I'm feeling good about it)

The ultrasound was awesome. Besides the fact that they suggested I drink a glass of water ahead of time, since a full bladder would help get a better picture, and then proceeded to press as hard as they could with the scanner on my full bladder. She said, "I'm just going for the best picture and sometimes I forget if I'm pressing too hard, so you'll have to just let me know."

Well, I wasn't going to say anything that might risk getting an inaccurate measurement or a bad picture that might falsely lead me to believe my baby was missing a limb, so I happily laid there for 30 minutes as she pressed and poked my full bladder. I guess these are the sacrifices you make as a parent, huh?

It was totally worth it... 

3-D imaging is crazy!

Profile of our little one.

Two legs and feet, crossed at the ankles. My favorite shot!

Week 11

Home sweet home! Eric surprised me with an epic vacation including trains, planes and automobiles. We flew in to Colorado Springs, took the train to Sacramento then on to Portland and drove through the Columbia River Gorge. It was really an amazing adventure. 

In Portland we went to a famous bookstore called Powell's Books. It's huge and it was the perfect place to find a baby book! I can't wait to start filling it out. 

I felt ok throughout the trip. I had ups and downs as usual, but I never let it get the best of me. And we had a great time. Today, I'm feeling the best I've felt in a very long time. I even had energy to make dinner, pasta and meat sauce AND a dessert, apple crisp!

 

The apple crisp is delicious (I'm eating as I type). The thunder is starting outside and I'm getting ready to pull on my jammies and jump into bed. It's good to be home!

Bon voyage!

This year Eric and I decided to take each other on surprise vacations. The picture above is from the secret getaway I planned to Vancouver Island in August. And I know what your thinking... but according to the ultrasound technician and her mad baby dating skills, this little one was made in the U.S. of A.!

Tomorrow morning at 5:30 AM we leave on another adventure, and this time I'm in the dark! I'm very excited. I'm even feeling a little better. Although pretty awful bouts of nausea still attack in waves, the waves are getting shorter. They're more like Lake Michigan waves instead Pacific Ocean waves. I can't wait to be a morning-after-the-storm rain puddle again.

Packing was interesting, because I feel like everyday I'm getting bigger and bigger. I don't know if it's my imagination, the bagels and cream cheese or an actual human being growing inside of me, but my belly seems a bit rounder. So I've packed layers upon layers of loose clothing. Perfect travel clothes anyway!

I'll post pictures soon!

Ding, ding, ding!

A pregnancy PLUS.... no seasonal allergies! Weird huh? I don't have any science to back this up, but I just realized that I haven't had a single runny nose or itchy, watery eye since finding out I was pregnant. And apparently the air is filled with nasty stuff. This is amazing since my brothers and I suffer from constant stuffy nose syndrome. I'll take it!

Updates...

My fingers are fat. It was getting risky taking my wedding ring on an off, especially putting it on, because every time I did I was scared I would never be able to take it off! My dear mother-in-law brought me some of her mother's rings to try on for size. They are a tad bit big for me normally, so surprise! They fit! I chose the one pictured to wear for the next seven months. It's not that I'm worried I'll be seen as an unwed pregnant mother, pshh, that's nothing. The fear of going ringless is that I'll have to put up with hundreds of come-ons thrown my way. I mean who can resist a greasy, zitty, puffy woman who's constantly stuffing her face? Not many.

Truthfully, the ring brings me comfort. I absolutely LOVE being married. And I love looking at my ring finger and remembering the vows, the love, the man that makes me so happy every day! Now, I get to remember all of that, plus an awesome mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law, whom I never met, but I'm sure would be honored that my fat finger is wearing her ring.

Speaking of vows, our dear friends Steve and Phil were married in a beautiful ceremony this weekend. It's true, there is no legal piece of paper that states they are united, but they were married in an ecumenical church in front of their friends, family and God. It was a truly moving ceremony filled with love, commitment and faith. And to top it all off, I made four cakes! I don't know how I found the energy to do it. Again, I can thank my MIL for her assistance. I'm proud to say they turned out beautifully and tasted delicious. It's easy to find strength to keep going when you have something like love as a motivation.



The most exciting update is the new additions to our family! Clara Caroline and Dominic Stephen Zitske were born a week and a half ago. They are absolutely beautiful and we can't wait to meet them in person. Clara is a dark haired little fairy and Dominic is the spitting image of his father as a baby. The family is home and getting into the grove of being a foursome. They doubled their family with one trip to the hospital! Well, an exciting nine months and a trip to the hospital.




And finally, I had a midwife appointment yesterday. She found the heartbeat immediately. It was a strong 165 beats per minute! She assured me that the nausea would start to gradually subside and the second trimester would be a whole new world. Again, this is what everyone keeps saying. Tomorrow I will be 10 weeks, I can't believe I've made it through four weeks of feeling like poop! Hopefully only four more weeks to go! Oh! And next week Eric is taking me on a surprise vacation, so that has been something to look forward to. I know we'll be gone for a week and I should pack with layers, but other than that, I'm completely in the dark. Fun!

License to eat.

Slab of pineapple, yum!

All I do all day long is eat or think about what I'm going to eat next. Because eating makes my tummy feel better. I'm starting to realize that I need to start paying attention to what I'm eating, since I'm eating all the time. So rather than eating a full meal every time I eat, which would result in tens of thousands of calories consumed a day, I eat snacks or mini-meals ALL DAY LONG. I've noticed a combination of carbs and protein does a tummy especially good.

Here is what I ate today:

• a cereal bar, even before I got out of bed - this helps
• an egg and cheese english muffin, a morning staple
• watermellon
• a slice of homemade banana bread
• an apple with peanut butter
• an orange
• a ham and cheese sandwich
• a small bowl of stir-fry (made by my super husband!)
• some gelato from Java Cat
• pineapple (see above photo)
• another slice of banana bread
• a small bowl of noodles and chicken (another EZ special!)
• a glass of milk

I just feel like that is a ridiculous amount of food. But I know I would have felt terrible had I missed anything! I will continue to work on adding in more fruits and veggies. I also got out for a walk today (yes, it was to Java Cat) AND did about 20 minutes of yoga.

Day by day mama. Day by day.

Signs

 

Just over a month ago (before I knew I was pregnant) I was at a horse festival in Illinois. As I was leaving the grounds for the evening, I looked down and in the middle of the sawdust and mud I saw a little pink bow. One that you'd put in a baby's hair. I thought hmmm... I wonder if this is a sign that I'm pregnant? I popped it in my bag and pretty much forgot about it. 

About a week after I found out I was pregnant I was at the farmers' market with one of my best friends, Taryn. I found a little pink sock on the ground, picked it up and placed it on the nearest table. Taryn grabbed my hand and said, "I think I know what that means!" My mind flashed back to the little pink bow.

A couple of nights ago, I was playing around with a baby name generator on-line. You enter your last name and it spits out a first and middle name. I thought it would be fun (it's probably stealing my identity as I type). The very first girl name it generated was "Ashly Taryn Zitske."

And today I popped into a co-workers office for a mid-afternoon pick-me-up disguised as a handful of M&Ms. I looked at the dozen or so in my hand and found one pink M&M sticking out among the normal oranges, reds, greens and browns. I looked at my co-worker and said, "I got a pink one." She said, "That's weird because I only ever put in the regular bags."

Now if I were a superstitious woman I might think all these signs add up to something. But for now I'll just assume the world is trying to tell me that I have a healthy peanut growing inside of me and I should be happy with that!

Conundrum

The cheesiest!

Kraft macaroni and cheese. That's what I craved this weekend. Along with Lucky Charms, shortbread cookies, ice cream sandwiches and Drumsticks. And tonight for dinner, we had hot dogs. Yep, a good old fashioned ball bark hot dog in a white bun with loads of mustard (at least I made a salad on the side... to go along with the kettle potato chips).

Three weeks ago I was eating a fairly local, organic and fresh diet filled with seasonal veggies and hormone-free meat. Now I'm pumping my body full of preservatives and chemicals. A conundrum. One that I realize I will have to approach with a grain of salt and a map that clearly shows the "middle of the road." 

FACT: I don't want to gain 75 pounds with this pregnancy. 
FACT: I KNOW that organic fruits and vegetables make for a healthier baby. It's been proven time and time again. Chemicals = bad news in a developing peanut.  
FACT: My tummy hurts and sugar and carbs ease the pain. 
FACT: At this point I should eat whatever I can stomach, which is better than no food at all. 
FACT: I'm WAY too tired to prepare healthy meals after work.  
FACT: I have tools at my disposal (including an awesome husband, weekends off, a fully functional kitchen and lots of tupperware) that can help in meal preparation. 
FACT: There has to be a plan in here somewhere...

The bottom line is that I'm blessed to have all of this food at my fingertips and I'm lucky to be educated enough to make the write choices. As with everything I'll just take this one day at a time!

Grandpas

 

This babe is super lucky to have to amazing men as grandfathers. Sadly, only one will have an earthly presence it its life. Eric's dad, Steve (Cardinals hat, above), passed away some years ago and although I never had the pleasure, I know in my heart he must have been quite something because he is partly responsible for the intelligent, funny, caring man I married (who in turn, will be partly responsible for how this little bean turns out!). Wherever Grandpa Steve is, he is surely strutting around like a the proudest rooster in the coop. You see at this very moment he has FOUR grandbabies in the hopper! Eric's little sister is four months pregnant with her second, his brother Brad's wife Laura is due any day now with twins and this little one makes four (five in all). Luckily, all of Steve's children have loads of stories to share about him. He will definitely hold a fabled place in all of his grandchildren's lives. 

The other grandfather is one of the coolest, sweetest, awesomest rockers I know. And I don't mean in the Ozzy Osbourne sense. We've been in our home for nine years and we finally made a purchase that we should have made long ago... we finally bought a rocking chair - for Grandpa Jim. As I sit in the chair I imagine my dad in it, with a Scotch after Christmas dinner, with coffee on the morning of our Memorial Day festivities, and with a baby, his first grandchild, any day of the year.

What a lucky babe this will be!

Macadamia Nut

Well, this little bugger, about the size of a macadamia nut is what's been causing me so much trouble. The yolk sac is producing blood cells for the little one until there is a spleen and liver to do the job for it. (I'm trying really hard to be gender neutral with my pronouns!)

The most amazing thing was seeing the heart beat. It's just so hard to believe that this tiny lump of cells living in my body has its very own heart beat.  Seeing the flicker across the screen was so wild.

The nausea is becoming part of my everyday life. I have a countdown running to the beginning of my second trimester. At least now I'm sure I can do it. Last week, I wasn't so sure!

Oh, the other news is an official due date: May 11, 2012. Tia Amanda notes that May has a "peaceful, awakening energy." I couldn't agree more!

Time off

 

Someone at work commented today, "Poor Pixie, she's going to feel neglected for a while, huh?"

First, people have told me that when you're pregnant others will say whatever they want to you, no matter how rude or thoughtless. This is true.

Second, Miss Pixie is living the horsie dream - lots of petting, brushing, treats and no work. Although, it's a bit hard to get out to the barn when I feel like horse sh&% (pun intended), when I do get out there it's fun just to be near her. Today we even walked down to the end of the driveway - this is the most exercise I've had in one week. Hopefully when I get some energy back I'll be able to work her from the ground. I won't be riding again until my uterus is mine, all mine.

And I think that's just fine with her!

"Babies"

I'm not feeling so hot this morning. I'm running late for work (luckily everyone is very understanding) and I can't get anything down. I googled "Babies" to see if I could find something happy to make me smile and look forward to the future. This is what I found. And it did the trick!

At least I'm sleeping!

The past few nights have been very restful. If I have a late enough snack, the nausea doesn't keep me up. And since I'm exhausted from the day I tend to sleep like a baby.

Besides all the energy I'm expending creating a human life-form, it's very tiring trying to figure out what I'm going to eat and when throughout the day. If I go a minute too long without a snack, things fall apart.

I'm really looking forward to Friday, have I mentioned that? :)

Good night!

... and on my face.

Every woman should read this article as she is trying to get pregnant. Just so it's not a complete shock when she looks in the mirror and sees a pimply, hairy, blotchy version of her old self. Sure, I've lost five pounds (because I eat five licks of Mc Donalds ice cream for breakfast) and my chest has never looked better (even though I can barely stand to have anything touch it) but let me tell you, so far I'm missing the famous "glow" I've heard about for years. But you know what? I don't really care. I think I have a pretty good excuse... "Oh, I have a hair growing out of my chin? I'M GROWING A HUMAN BEING INSIDE OF MY BODY." I think it's a pretty healthy view to take.

So I'm sick, hairy and zitty. But I'm pregnant and very happy about it. We have an ultrasound on Friday to determine just how pregnant I am. I'm thinking somewhere between 7 and 8 weeks and hoping for anything that gets me closer 13, the start of the blessed second trimester!

Yes, they do sell ice cream cones at 9:30 in the morning.

Mc Donald's that is. It just sounded good... for about five minutes. I got a few licks down. Nausea is the worst.

Ickies and bike shorts

Right now my tummy is filled with ickies. I know this is a good thing, it means my body is doing what it's supposed to be doing, pumping out that HGC (pregnancy hormone), which for eons has made women turn in disgust at a pepperoni pizza, or chicken sandwich, or garden salad, or anything that's not white and starchy really. And I know that HGC is critical for producing a healthy little human being. I know all of this, but it still really, really sucks.

So I sit here, with baggy pants, acupressure wrist bands on both hands, B6 in my belly drinking peppermint tea... trying really hard to count my belly blessings.

I also bought my first pair of maternity pants at a second hand store today. They are ugly. They are too short and they're a faded black but they sure are loose on the tummy! My getup today clued me into the fact that I need to expand my wardrobe (and I mean that in every sense of the word). I had to present at a meeting today, so I had to look nice. Since all of my dress pants are too tight, I figured a skirt would work nicely. And it did until I realized it was 40 degrees outside. Tights did NOT appeal to me. A tight band? Around this waist? No thank you. I dug through my tights drawer and came up with a pair of nylon thigh highs from about 15 years and 20 thigh pounds ago. An odd choice perhaps, but no waist so I gave 'em a shot. They felt good, but left me feeling a little airy under my skirt, so I added cotton bike shorts, to pull everything together, which then required a slip so my skirt wouldn't stick to the shorts. And then I left the house like that. Seriously. Professional, pregnant me.